I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
