So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
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He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
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The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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