I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
