His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize