found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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