Buhtt sex?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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