I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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