Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
