Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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