She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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