just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
