it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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