I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
