Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
