We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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