I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
