Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
