JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
