Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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