Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
