thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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