It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Randomize
