New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
