Those balls look pretty dangerous.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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