I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
