haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
