I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
