A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
