Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
