Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
