I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
