I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
