You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
