I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
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