In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Help. Why am I so naked?
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