Swine flu. Run for my life!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
