drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize