I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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