based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
