Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize