its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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