I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I will pee on everything he values.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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