Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
