i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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