His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize