would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
