Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
