She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
