I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dicks are not precious.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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