Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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