I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
