i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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