I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
