problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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