I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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