You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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