We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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